You Can Be Used!
Some Christians have reached out to God many times, while others only a few. Then there are some who have cried out to God because their struggles are many. Whatever the situation, hearts are heavy because past sins have been many.
There are times when we all struggle with past feelings and thoughts, especially when we know our past life has hurt our heavenly Father. Understand that everyone has a past, some tainted more than others.
Remember also that you are forgiven. Perhaps you have trouble letting the past stay in the past. By the power of the Holy Spirit and the shed blood of Jesus, God will remake you into a useful instrument to fulfill His purposes.
There are many examples from the past for us to draw from: people like John Muller and Hudson Taylor, or Joyce Meyer of today. There are men and women whose lives were once deep in sin that God made useful for the kingdom.
When God forgives our sin, He forgets and lets go of our past, and we need to as well. Sometimes God will use you 100% because your past has equipped you for special work in the kingdom.
Spend time in prayer, reading the Bible, and good, solid Christian literature; then, when you are willing, the Holy Spirit will transform your thoughts to His thoughts. As the world becomes less and less a part of your life, the thoughts of the past will also dissipate, and your thoughts concerning God and His kingdom will increase